Jessica Mae Hendrickson

Feb 19

lil baby malfoy

I was kind of a downer at the zoo today.

• [After we've all watched the otters frolic and jump and swim and play with each other for like five minutes]
• Me: It's a good thing they like each other.
• My friends: [No comments, but they look at me as if to say, "Go on."]
• Me: Ya know, like. They're the only other organism the other has to interact with. Forever. It's like, this pond and this grass and this one other otter. So it's a good thing they're playing and having fun, cause it'd suck to be in there thinking, "Ugh, THIS asshole," all day long, ya know? Like, if one was really rude or something. Really intolerable.
• Lindsey: Enough.

Feb 18

thedailywhat:

Street Art of the Day: In his first non-Tom-Hanks-themed wall pieces, Hanksy pays tribute to Bill Cosby and Ted Danson.

[wooster.]

(on my way to owning all the puns)

Feb 12

Someone wrecked the toilet at my work, and I’m the one who has to fix it.
I stopped the flooding.
But I’m standing in urine water right now.

Feb 11

SADurday night

went to two targets

bought cat litter and a bathtub plug

“I wish they would make a sex tape. I would never watch anything else.” — Katelyn, talking about Jay-Z and Beyonce

Feb 10

[video]

bsample:

Nathan Jr

Feb 08

(Source: lilgeniuses)

Feb 05

[video]

slow work day

Feb 04

“I didn’t have cable, I watched books!” — Katelyn

Feb 02

it would be cool if i could say i got ripped or paid, but i didn’t do anything “pugs not drugs”

one day i will own all the puns

[video]